My Amazing Friends...

It is no secret that I think I have the most amazing friends. I truly believe each person has been placed in my life for a specific reason and that each person compliments me in some way, or brings something unique to my life. I'm blessed with friends I've had all my life and some that are newly acquired...each holding a very special place in my heart. While I sit here and think about the friends that I have or have had in my life, I know I will never fully do justice, in words, to what each of them mean to me. This may be a post I update often as I am sure in this first attempt I will leave off someone special or instrumental in my life.

Thank you to each of you for changing my life in such positive ways. I know I don't say it nearly enough, but I adore each of you and know that I am daily blessed to have you in my life.

Suzi: Never could I have asked for a better sister or friend. You have the kindest heart of anyone I know. I often feel like I am not deserving of all you do for me, whether it's listening to me ramble, letting me cry on your shoulder, making me laugh, or getting me out of a jam. There's not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for you. You are my hero.

Kim: We've been friends for as long as I can remember...literally. You have been my truest friend through all the years. I am amazed at how parallel our lives have been, even when we were living far apart. You always know what to say when I seek advice, vent, or cry...I know I would not have survived many struggles without you. You are my sister. I cherish our vault full of memories and look forward to those that we are yet to create.

Jill: As with Kim, we've been friends for as long as I can remember. I have always considered myself to be the third twin (or the missing triplet!). You have always been a kind soul, always seeing the best in people, and you are sincerely genuine in everything you say. I love that no matter how much time passes, we always pick up where we left off. I pray that life brings you all the happiness you deserve (there is no limit!) and I look forward to the next time we get to spend time together.

Amy: I have such fond memories of the two of us that date all the way back to kindergarten. I now tell my students about how you got Jill and I sent to Principal's office :), and I laugh aloud thinking of us dancing around to "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini!" You are one of the most sincere people I have ever known. While you stand strong in your convictions, you are always accepting of people for who they are. Your laugh is infectious and I rarely remember an occasion you weren't smiling. I choose you to be my sister also. How blessed I am to have such a beautiful, talented, and compassionate woman in my life.

B: Oh, my little brother...how I tormented you growing up! I remember the day I knew my picking on you had come to an end; it centered around you dead lifting dad and all of us staring at you with our jaws hanging open. :) I can't tell you how much I loved the late night phone calls I received from you while you were away at college. You might just be the most tender-hearted person I know...I love that you can wear your heart on your sleeve without embarrassment. I will never outgrow the overprotective sister role, but I hope you realize it is because I love and adore you sooo much. I want nothing more than to see you settled and happy. I am so proud to call you my brother and my friend.

Johanna: My college roommate and teammate...very few people make me laugh as hard as you do. I laugh and shake my head at the crazy stuff we did and experienced during our college years...I owe so much to you and Holtkamp! I miss the days of laying in bed and talking about life, and listening to blaring music with our heads together on the floor, minutes before heading to the gym. Despite the rough patch in our friendship, I have always felt blessed to have you in my life. You have always been there for me, always with a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and great advice. I am so glad we are reconnecting...I love ya, JO!

Vashon: I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to have you back in my life! The past few years without contact have been bothersome for me. I doubt you will ever know how much your friendship meant to me in college. From the moment we met in the admissions office, I knew that you were special. While a lot of people only saw the basketball player, good-looking and completely ripped, you allowed me to see your heart. You were nothing that I expected you to be and I would never have guessed that you would be the truest friend I had in some of my most difficult times. You always knew when I was hurting and you gave the best hugs, but most importantly, you listened...really listened. I am so happy that life is treating you well and I look forward to the day I will be able to hug you again.

JoAnn: My "Hannibal Mom," friend, confidant, and the person who shaped me into the teacher I am today. Not a day goes by that I don't realize how fortunate I was to have you as my cooperating teacher! You challenged, inspired, encouraged and loved me...so much more than I ever hoped for or expected. I am honored to be your "third daughter." Both you and John opened your home and your hearts to me during some difficult times and I will eternally be grateful. Thank you for the years of friendship and always watching out for me. I love you!

Drew: There is no way I can leave you off this list, as we have been friends now for nearly a third of my life. Friendship came easily and despite having to work hard to maintain it at times over the years, I am thankful that you have been such an important part of my life. You have been there for nearly every major event in my life for the past 13 years...wow. You were the first boy I loved and you will always carry a special place in my heart. I thank you for loving me and for allowing me to be a part of your family (especially after we said goodbye). I sincerely wish you all the happiness in the world as you begin this next phase of your life.

Debby & Kelly: Two of the most amazing and beautiful women in my life! You made me feel welcome the very first time I met you and I have loved you ever since. Thank you for years of friendship, traveling experiences, candy making, laughs over Baileys and coffee, and late nights of playing games. You will never know how much I appreciate your letting our friendship transcend Drew's and my relationship. I will love you forever as my friends and sisters of the heart, no matter what changes may befall our relationship.

Doug: If I could hand pick another brother, I would choose you. It's no secret that I think you are an amazing teacher, but more importantly, you are an amazing friend. There are people who come into our lives and they just fit, without having to do much work; you are one of those people in my life. I have learned so much from you over the past few years, both about teaching and life. You are smart, sincere, kind, compassionate, dedicated, funny, talented (and let's not forget competitive), and every day you make me want to be better, in and outside of the classroom. Thank you for your willingness to share your ideas and jump in with both feet on some of the ideas I present to you. You make coming to work everyday enjoyable...for that alone I can't thank you enough.

Emily: My most creative friend...I envy you so much! ;) Upon our first meeting I knew that you were someone I wanted to know. I love that you march to the beat of your own drum, you are willing to sacrifice, and that you are one of the few people who can shock me. I admire you for the choices you are making for your family; although, I miss you terribly. I appreciate our friendship more than I ever tell you and am so glad that you are willing to make time for me, still. You make me laugh, your words are always like a warm hug, and I love being a part of your life.

Jessica: My newest and on the way to being one of my dearest friends (if not already!). A higher power must have intervened the night we met because I honestly wasn't interested or up for it. Never would I have believed that one of my greatest friendships would develop the way ours has! From the moment we met I knew that you were special and as I lurked around your blog, I knew I wanted to get to know (and be more like) the strong, smart, and beautiful woman you are. I cherish every moment spent with you and anxiously await our next dinner date (I typed supper, but it just didn't sound right...darn :). Thank you, Jess, for sharing your life with me.

Ron: Sometimes I am surprised that we are still friends, as we both struggle to "share" what is on our hearts or minds. :) There are many things that I admire about you, yet at the top of that list is that you always consider others' feelings before your own (sometimes too much). You are a great father, friend, and person...I too wish you could see yourself through others' eyes. I am thankful for your friendship, your honesty, and your ability to make me laugh; I look forward to the thousands of memories we've yet to create.

Happiness and Heartache are Intertwined

Today I wept.

D. called to tell me he is engaged; he wanted me to hear the news from him. I am happy for him, sincerely happy for him! I knew the day would come; I have always wanted him to find the love and the happiness I could not give him. And, I really do appreciate that he still cares about me enough to have told me himself.

I just hadn't prepared myself for my reaction to the news. Today I found myself grieving the loss of our relationship, again. There is a part of me that is embarrassed by my reaction, part of me angry; but mostly, I am glad I took the opportunity to love deeply enough that I feel this pain at a molecular level, at the very core of my being. It is my hope that I will have the opportunity and take the chance to experience this depth of love again.

Tomorrow, I will revel in the dawning of a new day and I will force myself to experience the beauty that surrounds me. Tomorrow, I will be happy for what I have in my life and not what I think I am missing. Tomorrow, I will be "me" again; but today...

Today, I allow myself to react to the news, to let myself grieve, to feel sad, and to let my heart ache. Today, I listen to my "sad" CD and wish for an Unbreakable Heart.

Letter to a former student

Dear Jake,

I have just gotten home from spending the last few hours with you and I can't stop smiling. While we spent the better part of three hours talking about what's happened in our lives over the course of the last several years, there are still a few things I want to say.

I'm not sure I adequately expressed how much it means to me that you called and wanted to meet up. I know we had talked about it, but that you actually took the initiative and followed through with it means the world to me. Despite having kept track of where you were and what was going on in your life through the years, there is nothing better than hearing it from you, with all the details. So, thank you...thank you for calling, thank you for the big hug when I walked through the door, and thank you for once again letting me share in your life.

Remembering you as a sophomore student makes me smile and shake my head. While there were days you made me want to tear my hair out, there wasn't a day that I didn't love having you as a student. Yes, you tried my patience and pushed my buttons, but you were never unkind or disrespectful. I think we both always knew the aggravation we provided for one another was out of love. I appreciate your saying you learned in my classroom and that you worked harder in there than your other classes, but I mostly appreciate you saying you always knew I cared about you as both a student and a person.

I cherish having wonderful memories of special students and knowing I always did right by them, whether in the classroom or outside of it. I will always have one regret when it comes to you though, Jake. I want you to know I deeply regret not having been there like I should have after the accident. How I wish I could have seen past my own grief over losing Dustin and trying to be there for his family, and taken more time to be with you in the hospital...to hug you tightly and tell you how thankful I was to not have lost you too (you, Ryan, Nathan, and Blake). I know you hold no ill-feelings towards me nor have you ever put much thought into it...I just need you to know I have and I am truly sorry for not having done more for you.

While that accident will forever bind us together, it is only a small portion of why I absolutely adore you. I saw such great potential in you as a sixteen-year-old boy and to have the opportunity to witness, firsthand, your reaching that potential is an amazing gift with which you have blessed me. Jake, you have become a wonderful man, husband and father. I hope you realize how extremely proud I am of you. That I may have played a very small role in your becoming such a fine person is an incredible feeling. When I find myself questioning why I am still teaching, why I continue to do this, I know the answer is... you. You, Jake (and students like you), are what keeps me in education. You make every negative I face in education inconsequential.

I look forward to the moments we will continue to share as friends. Thank you again for allowing me to be a part of your life.

With much love,

Jodi

10 quick bits of information...

Once again I find myself not taking the time to sit down and write here. And, of course I decide to do this late at night when I should be making myself go to bed. So, as a bit of a compromise, I'll just highlight what's going on in my world or my head...for now.

In no particular order.

1. All paperwork for Teacher of the Year (district competition) is finally complete! Yes, I may have procrastinated a little, but still...

2. Christmas with the family was great. Spent a lot of time with the family; it was nice and relaxing, which is exactly what I needed.

3. School has started again...although it is great not having homework to grade, I'm not overly excited about making lesson plans.

4. Word Count Journal. A student got me hooked on the site. A colleague has now made it a writing competition...it's stretching my imagination, that is for sure. Check it out: wordcountjournal.com

5. I'm taking on a student teacher this semester...It will be tough handing over all my classes...one in particular.

6. Writers Week...it's going to be AMAZING!!

7. I don't tell them nearly enough, but I have really wonderful friends! Some new, some old, but really amazing people in my life.

8. I've become indifferent to dating.

9. I wonder how much better education would be without administrators?

10. I really need to get all my Christmas decor put away, and hang pictures on my walls.

Alright...off to bed.