How many times can you let someone you love break your heart?

When that person is your father, there is no magical number.

My siblings and I recently found out (not by our father, mind you) that the woman he cheated on my mother with and who has been living with him since before my parents' divorce has moved out. I can't say that we are upset about this development, but we don't want to see our father hurt either. Well, that is our truth...

My sister called me a couple nights ago to discuss some things that had been shared with her by one of my aunts. It seems that my dad had stopped by my aunt's house for one reason or another and had a bit of a break down. He told her that P. had moved out and how upset he was about it. After discussing things for a while he went on to say that he blamed us kids for the demise of his relationship. As the relationship between my father and my aunt has also become strained since the divorce of my parents, she didn't say much, only listened. She did however call my sister to tell her what my father had said and say that we really needed to talk to him.

When P. left, she told our father that the reason she was leaving was because his kids had never given her a chance and that she had never felt welcome. Wow. Excuse me for not rolling out the red carpet for a woman who so blatantly disrespected my mother, us kids, my family, and my parents' marriage vows.

Now, while I will not pretend that we ever cared for the woman, I can honestly say that we never showed her any disrespect. We were cordial, friendly and respectful every time we were around her. I bought Christmas gifts and sent cards to her and my father, and my brother went as far as buying gifts for her children. Oddly enough, I don't remember once being invited to the Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners she hosted at our family farm. I do, however, remember having to schedule around all her holiday plans to visit our father. So, who wasn't made to feel welcome?

I am pissed at this woman's sick attempt to ruin our relationships with our father because she is too much of a coward to just admit that she has moved on to someone else or something she considers better (this isn't the first time she's done this). It seems to be her last ditch effort to drive a wedge between my father and his family. I have no idea what pleasure she takes from this destruction, but I will have a few choice words ready if I ever happen to run in to her.

I am pissed and devastated that my father would even consider these statements. I want to scream and yell at him..."Are you fucking kidding me?! I live a hundred and twenty miles away and see you maybe once every few months, yet I am the cause of your failed relationship?!"

It's time for my father to start thinking with the organ that sits between his ears and seriously consider what he is in jeopardy of losing. I hope that I am a strong enough person to not walk away, but eventually even the cup of unconditional love runs dry.

An Itch to Coach...

Since changing jobs and moving to a new city, I haven't been coaching. After 27 years of being involved in competitive athletics, either playing or coaching, I decided to take a break and just focus on my teaching. The two districts I worked in previously were very sports-minded and known for their athleticism. There are both positives and negatives to this mentality.

It has been nice having some free time to just do things that I want to do, but after attending a few of my students' sporting events this year, I find myself missing coaching. I miss the running (not literally...more the being busy), the activity, fostering relationships with kids I will never have in class, and the comradery amongst a coaching staff.

While I'm not sure if my overly competitive nature or high expectations of my athletes will jive with some of the coaches in my district, I think it might be time to lace up the sneaks, put the hair in a ponytail and loop the whistle around my neck again.

Teens and conflicting viewpoints

We had great discussion in one of my junior classes this morning. After reading Countee Cullen's Incident and Tableau, written during the Harlem Renaissance, we began discussing whether or not the themes were still prevalent in today's society. While we obviously talked about racial issues (fortunately I have a group of students who respect others' viewpoints and opinions), we also talked about stereotypes of people who deal with obesity and/or other disabilities and how they are treated in society.

There was still a little bit of time left in the class period when students finished working on an assignment over these two poems, so we began to discuss the six Florida girls who had lured and beat up their classmate. The discussion was eye-opening (and a little disturbing) to say the least. While some were completely disgusted by their actions, there were several students who thought that the victim was deserving. Their reasoning..."If you talk trash about people, you get what you deserve."

WHAT?!!

At the beginning of the class period we talked about victims (violence, oppression, discrimination, etc.) in our society who have been mistreated and those who have devoted their lives to bringing about change in the world. We talked about men like Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi and at the end of the class some are defending senseless violence in the name of "saving face."

I'm at a loss for words...

ROCK...CHALK...JAYHAWK

I've come to the realization that I cannot not post about my Jayhawks winning the National Championship. I've waited (and shed some tears) for twenty years to see them secure the title again.

Not only were they an amazingly athletic team, they were a team with class...never conceited or boastful, and always helping an opponent to his feet. Grace under pressure and still humble at the end of the day.

Thanks for a great season; I will thoroughly enjoy getting to smile the entire year!

A Reunion...Really??!!

It is being reported that NKOTB will be getting back together and touring again. When I heard the news this evening, I didn't know whether to laugh or to call the girls that I attended their concert with so many years ago.

My other thought/question: Will they still call themselves 'New Kids' now they are all in their 30's?