While I wonder if it is appropriate to share this personal email with the world, I can't help but want to share it with the world.
For no reason, Scott sent me this message this morning:
As our days melt into a comfortable routine that may, at moments, seem mundane...
I need you to know this...(and please take this seriously)...
I've never met a person with whom I'd rather share all of my moments...my thoughts - big and small, my corny jokes, my slightly awkward stories, my strengths, my weaknesses, and most of all my dreams.
I am so honored to be with you. I hope you know.
I will always love and adore you - just as you are, but also for what you will become.
Scott
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
The "Woe Is Me" Post
There have been many wonderful moments for me this past year (most referred to in my last blog entry), but with the great there always seems to be some-not-so-great moments. While I'm grateful for every single positive thing that has happened and I'm greatly blessed, I'm hoping my run of bad luck is over soon.
Some of the not-so-good items of 2009 and now carrying over into 2010:
I bought my first home, a two-bedroom condo. While this is good and exciting news, the process I went through to become a first time home buyer was not good. My Realtors were great, but the hoops I had to jump through to get approval were tedious and RIDICULOUS. On the day of my closing, I sat in the office for nearly three hours waiting for final approval to come. Every one involved in the process said they had ever had a closing like this...lucky me.
The day after I signed on my condo, I hydroplaned on the highway on the way to school. I was very lucky to walk away with a few bumps and bruises, and some stiff and aching muscles and joints. The possibility of much more serious injuries was great as I went into the median in the inner most lane and then did a 360 degree spin across all three lanes of traffic. It was rush hour, traffic was heavy and I didn't get hit by or hit another vehicle. Had I looked over to the passenger seat, I think I might have seen someone sitting there...I definitely had a guardian angel there with me that morning. So, surviving and not being seriously hurt...Great. Totaling my truck the day after buying my first home....BAD.
The search for a new vehicle started...it's amazing how difficult it is to decide on a vehicle when your mind wasn't in the frame of buying any time soon. Walking onto a lot was overwhelming...so many cars, colors, models, etc....and I with not a clue as to what I even wanted to look at. Let's not forget to mention the stalking that took place on the few lots I visited, either...CAR SALESMEN ARE LIKE VULTURES. And why is it that despite me being the one who was looking to buy the car, the salesmen always directed their questions towards Scott? Some habits are hard to break and I found myself retreating to Columbia...where I am familiar with the dealerships and where my family resides. I found a great car, one that I fell in love with instantly, and I was treated with respect. The salesman dealt with me, answered all my questions without making me feeling stupid and I did all the negotiating...despite my brother sitting in the office with me.
The hunt for the car finally paid off, but, still, I was waiting on insurance. For a week I sat idle...no contact from the adjuster, no returned phone calls. There is no feeling worse than sitting in limbo...were they going to total my truck?...how much were they going to give me for it?...etc. It finally took a call from my uncle (who has a pretty high position in the insurance company) to get things moving...the day after his call, I received a call and a sizeable check for my totalled vehicle. Bad. Good. Mostly Annoying.
So, I now have a car I love to drive and that I am completely happy with. Life, my life at the moment anyway, can't be that easy though. The week before Christmas I walked to my car to go to work. I start to open the rear door to put my stuff in the car and see that my driver's side window has been busted out. WTF?!! I call school to tell them I would be late arriving because I had to spend my morning with the police. :(
My neighborhood got hit by thieves and vandals...9 cars were broken in to and had things stolen out (I had nothing in my car to steal) and they did actually steal one vehicle. According to the police, the thieves spent a lot of time at my car as it was their intent to steal it. They first tried going through the lock, which was destroyed and pushed into the door (their work obviously messed up the paint). Secondly, they tried to go through the window in three different areas, damaging the window frame and ultimately breaking the glass, which probably resulted in the alarm going off and them running. Good news...my car was still sitting in the lot and nothing was actually stolen. Bad news...$500 deductible that I am responsible for, at Christmas.
I was able to get my car to a dealership to be housed and have the glass replaced, all in a timely manner. I was fortunate to have my car over the holidays...it was driveable, but still needing body work. Last Monday I took my car back to the dealership to have all the work completed (all new parts, painting, etc.) and was told it would be a two-day process. As of today, I still don't have my car. A part was delayed in Chicago because of the winter storms last week and now I'm told the part has been delivered, but it is the wrong part. I'm told they hope to have it finished tomorrow, but I'm past the point of holding out hope. The dealership has provided me with a rental car (at their expense)...I appreciate it; however, I don't want to drive a rental...I WANT MY CAR!
Much of my frustration comes from feeling like I've had my independence stripped from me. While no one has batted an eye at my asking for a ride or me not being able to meet up with them this week, there is something about not having the option to go somewhere if you want, when you want, and not having to plan every errand through another person.
I'm hoping this post, this purging, allows me to focus once again on the positives in my life. I've always heard that bad things come in 3's...surely this counts for three! PLEASE. LET. THIS. BE. THREE!
Some of the not-so-good items of 2009 and now carrying over into 2010:
I bought my first home, a two-bedroom condo. While this is good and exciting news, the process I went through to become a first time home buyer was not good. My Realtors were great, but the hoops I had to jump through to get approval were tedious and RIDICULOUS. On the day of my closing, I sat in the office for nearly three hours waiting for final approval to come. Every one involved in the process said they had ever had a closing like this...lucky me.
The day after I signed on my condo, I hydroplaned on the highway on the way to school. I was very lucky to walk away with a few bumps and bruises, and some stiff and aching muscles and joints. The possibility of much more serious injuries was great as I went into the median in the inner most lane and then did a 360 degree spin across all three lanes of traffic. It was rush hour, traffic was heavy and I didn't get hit by or hit another vehicle. Had I looked over to the passenger seat, I think I might have seen someone sitting there...I definitely had a guardian angel there with me that morning. So, surviving and not being seriously hurt...Great. Totaling my truck the day after buying my first home....BAD.
The search for a new vehicle started...it's amazing how difficult it is to decide on a vehicle when your mind wasn't in the frame of buying any time soon. Walking onto a lot was overwhelming...so many cars, colors, models, etc....and I with not a clue as to what I even wanted to look at. Let's not forget to mention the stalking that took place on the few lots I visited, either...CAR SALESMEN ARE LIKE VULTURES. And why is it that despite me being the one who was looking to buy the car, the salesmen always directed their questions towards Scott? Some habits are hard to break and I found myself retreating to Columbia...where I am familiar with the dealerships and where my family resides. I found a great car, one that I fell in love with instantly, and I was treated with respect. The salesman dealt with me, answered all my questions without making me feeling stupid and I did all the negotiating...despite my brother sitting in the office with me.
The hunt for the car finally paid off, but, still, I was waiting on insurance. For a week I sat idle...no contact from the adjuster, no returned phone calls. There is no feeling worse than sitting in limbo...were they going to total my truck?...how much were they going to give me for it?...etc. It finally took a call from my uncle (who has a pretty high position in the insurance company) to get things moving...the day after his call, I received a call and a sizeable check for my totalled vehicle. Bad. Good. Mostly Annoying.
So, I now have a car I love to drive and that I am completely happy with. Life, my life at the moment anyway, can't be that easy though. The week before Christmas I walked to my car to go to work. I start to open the rear door to put my stuff in the car and see that my driver's side window has been busted out. WTF?!! I call school to tell them I would be late arriving because I had to spend my morning with the police. :(
My neighborhood got hit by thieves and vandals...9 cars were broken in to and had things stolen out (I had nothing in my car to steal) and they did actually steal one vehicle. According to the police, the thieves spent a lot of time at my car as it was their intent to steal it. They first tried going through the lock, which was destroyed and pushed into the door (their work obviously messed up the paint). Secondly, they tried to go through the window in three different areas, damaging the window frame and ultimately breaking the glass, which probably resulted in the alarm going off and them running. Good news...my car was still sitting in the lot and nothing was actually stolen. Bad news...$500 deductible that I am responsible for, at Christmas.
I was able to get my car to a dealership to be housed and have the glass replaced, all in a timely manner. I was fortunate to have my car over the holidays...it was driveable, but still needing body work. Last Monday I took my car back to the dealership to have all the work completed (all new parts, painting, etc.) and was told it would be a two-day process. As of today, I still don't have my car. A part was delayed in Chicago because of the winter storms last week and now I'm told the part has been delivered, but it is the wrong part. I'm told they hope to have it finished tomorrow, but I'm past the point of holding out hope. The dealership has provided me with a rental car (at their expense)...I appreciate it; however, I don't want to drive a rental...I WANT MY CAR!
Much of my frustration comes from feeling like I've had my independence stripped from me. While no one has batted an eye at my asking for a ride or me not being able to meet up with them this week, there is something about not having the option to go somewhere if you want, when you want, and not having to plan every errand through another person.
I'm hoping this post, this purging, allows me to focus once again on the positives in my life. I've always heard that bad things come in 3's...surely this counts for three! PLEASE. LET. THIS. BE. THREE!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Reflections
As I sit here staring out the window on this cold and snowy Thursday morning (school is canceled!) and listening to the rhythmic pounding of Scott's feet on the treadmill, I find my mind thinking about the past year and where I am in my life right now.
Winter is often the season in which I do most of my reflection. I'm not a fan of cold weather, and especially not cold and wet weather, so I spend a lot of time sitting inside...sitting inside and looking out. I guess it's a bit of a metaphor for my processing...going deep within myself, my heart, my brain, and "looking" out at my life.
2009 was a great year for me...so great, that part of me actually hated to see it come to an end. Professionally, I've never had a better year. The previous summer I decided to revamp my teaching style and never before had I felt more invigorated or "in tune" with my teaching or my students. I was named Teacher of the Year at my school and I brought the idea of Writers Week back from the National Conference for English Teachers.
Attending one session, with two gentlemen from a Chicago high school, changed my life and the environment of my entire school. With the help and dedication of a few of my closest and most respected colleagues, we created an event which showcased our students' writing abilities, humanized teachers in the eyes of their students, and allowed a number of professional writers to share their talents and crafts with large groups of students. This event brought students together, realizing they were all very much alike, despite gender, race, culture, abilities, etc. At the end of the year, a majority of seniors (as well as other students) voted WW as the most memorable event in their high school experiences. To know that I was a part of that is almost overwhelming.
In addition to such great fortune professionally, Scott came into my life. For this, I am most blessed.
Of all places, Scott and I met online. I'd never have guessed I'd make a lasting connection with someone through this venue, but then, never would I have guessed I could have such a profound connection with a partner. And, that is what Scott has become...a partner, in every sense of the word. In six short months (despite my feeling like I have known him forever), he has become my best friend, my confidante, my hero, my stability, my rock. Despite my independent-minded personality and lifestyle, I can't (nor do I want to) imagine living without him. In addition to Scott, my life has been enriched by two young men, his sons- O. and M. I joke that I got three for the price of one, but I can't imagine my life without any of them.
My life has definitely changed in the past few months. Where I was beginning to think I would spend this life on my own, with the unconditional love of friends and family to feed my soul, I'm now on the verge of joining my already fulfilled life with Scott and his boys. I never dreamed my happiness could be multiplied in such great measure.
So, I sit here watching the snow swirl in the frigid breeze and I'm thankful for a lazy day in a home with the boys I've grown to love, for the warm and crackling fire Scott built a little while ago, and for the understanding that this is just the beginning to a beautiful new phase of my life. I'll forever carry fond memories of 2009, but I also look forward with great anticipation for what 2010 has to offer.
May you all be as richly blessed as I feel this very moment.
Winter is often the season in which I do most of my reflection. I'm not a fan of cold weather, and especially not cold and wet weather, so I spend a lot of time sitting inside...sitting inside and looking out. I guess it's a bit of a metaphor for my processing...going deep within myself, my heart, my brain, and "looking" out at my life.
2009 was a great year for me...so great, that part of me actually hated to see it come to an end. Professionally, I've never had a better year. The previous summer I decided to revamp my teaching style and never before had I felt more invigorated or "in tune" with my teaching or my students. I was named Teacher of the Year at my school and I brought the idea of Writers Week back from the National Conference for English Teachers.
Attending one session, with two gentlemen from a Chicago high school, changed my life and the environment of my entire school. With the help and dedication of a few of my closest and most respected colleagues, we created an event which showcased our students' writing abilities, humanized teachers in the eyes of their students, and allowed a number of professional writers to share their talents and crafts with large groups of students. This event brought students together, realizing they were all very much alike, despite gender, race, culture, abilities, etc. At the end of the year, a majority of seniors (as well as other students) voted WW as the most memorable event in their high school experiences. To know that I was a part of that is almost overwhelming.
In addition to such great fortune professionally, Scott came into my life. For this, I am most blessed.
Of all places, Scott and I met online. I'd never have guessed I'd make a lasting connection with someone through this venue, but then, never would I have guessed I could have such a profound connection with a partner. And, that is what Scott has become...a partner, in every sense of the word. In six short months (despite my feeling like I have known him forever), he has become my best friend, my confidante, my hero, my stability, my rock. Despite my independent-minded personality and lifestyle, I can't (nor do I want to) imagine living without him. In addition to Scott, my life has been enriched by two young men, his sons- O. and M. I joke that I got three for the price of one, but I can't imagine my life without any of them.
My life has definitely changed in the past few months. Where I was beginning to think I would spend this life on my own, with the unconditional love of friends and family to feed my soul, I'm now on the verge of joining my already fulfilled life with Scott and his boys. I never dreamed my happiness could be multiplied in such great measure.
So, I sit here watching the snow swirl in the frigid breeze and I'm thankful for a lazy day in a home with the boys I've grown to love, for the warm and crackling fire Scott built a little while ago, and for the understanding that this is just the beginning to a beautiful new phase of my life. I'll forever carry fond memories of 2009, but I also look forward with great anticipation for what 2010 has to offer.
May you all be as richly blessed as I feel this very moment.
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