Yesterday I posted about still dealing with feelings concerning an ex-boyfriend and how relationships with other men have never been quite as comfortable as that first relationship. Last night I got an anonymous text message from a number that was not saved in my phone. The area code was from Florida and I could think of only one person. The messages were coming from D., the ex-boyfriend aforementioned.
D. was in town for the Cards game and wanted to know if I would meet up with him. After our last encounter, I found this shocking and a little unnerving...not to mention how completely ironic that I had just posted about him.
It was decided that he would come by my place to talk...he promised no drama. It was weird and yet nice to see him. He apologized for his reactions the last time we had been together and went on to say that I had never deserved any of the things that he put me through while we were dating. While I hold myself responsible for half of everything that was good and bad, it was nice to hear those words. We both agreed that leaving things the way we had wasn't good for either of us. D. echoed my words (in my blog post) by saying that he wondered if we had met a few years later if things wouldn't have worked out differently. (Yes, it weirded me out a bit.)
D. had an early morning flight this morning; I have no idea when I will see or talk to him again. There is part of me that is really sad about that...last night as we spoke, things were 'comfortable' and fell right into place, as if we had never stepped away from the relationship. Forgiveness is good and having open communication with D. again feels right. I am not even considering that things will ever work out with D. and I again, but there was a need to mend the friendship that I've had now for about a third of my life. Maybe not being at peace with this previous relationship was one of the factors in my not allowing others to happen?
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