I can't hear the word "dare" without automatically thinking about the movie The Christmas Story and the triple-dog dare which leads to Flick's tongue getting stuck to the flagpole. Oh how I laugh at his painful cries of "thuck, thUCK, THUCK!" And Ralphie's dilemma of whether or not to stay out or go inside when the school bell rings.
Watching The Christmas Story has become a tradition in my family (like many), and it doesn't matter how many times I see it...I still laugh out loud! I sure am looking forward to the slow days of winter break to start...with no papers to grade, research to do or papers to write...to be able to lounge around the house and watch a few of the family favorites.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Irrevocability
Unfortunately, all relationships aren't irrevocable.
Anyone who knows me or who has ever read my blog knows that the relationship with my father has been strained the past few years. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset with how quickly my father moved on to his next relationship, but I am most bothered with how easily he seems to extract himself from all our lives. Communication with my sister, brother and I is completely one-sided; we only talk with him if we make the effort to contact him, and at best, the conversation is trivial. It's frustrating, it's annoying, and at times, I find it downright depressing. I love my dad and it hurts to not have the relationship I had with him while I was growing up, but I can no longer let it determine my life or emotions. I wish things hadn't changed and I still hold out a small amount of hope that things will return to a more "normal" state...but as we all know, sometimes even the best of relationships can't be repaired.
Anyone who knows me or who has ever read my blog knows that the relationship with my father has been strained the past few years. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset with how quickly my father moved on to his next relationship, but I am most bothered with how easily he seems to extract himself from all our lives. Communication with my sister, brother and I is completely one-sided; we only talk with him if we make the effort to contact him, and at best, the conversation is trivial. It's frustrating, it's annoying, and at times, I find it downright depressing. I love my dad and it hurts to not have the relationship I had with him while I was growing up, but I can no longer let it determine my life or emotions. I wish things hadn't changed and I still hold out a small amount of hope that things will return to a more "normal" state...but as we all know, sometimes even the best of relationships can't be repaired.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
A Toast to Wanderlust
I had a desire to travel from a very early age. Through most of my childhood, into my teenage years, and on into adulthood my dream was to go to Australia. The realization of that dream came in 2004. With a few great friends, I was able to travel to Sydney and spend the week of a lifetime. Though I knew I would love the experience I would never have guessed the innate connection I felt with the area when I stepped off the plane. The walk down to "The Rocks" was actually emotional for me. The sounds, the smells, the sun, the sandstone...it felt like they were all a part of me. I spent a whirlwind week taking in sights and sounds, my heart swelling with every experience. When it came time to leave, I cried. I realized I was "homesick" walking to the plane. I couldn't even truly enjoy New Zealand (our next stop) because I was in mourning...a large part of me was left in Australia.
Wanderlust begins, returns and ends in Australia for me. While I hope to see all the world and experience numerous cultures, I know I will always want to return to the Land Down Under. I want to explore the Great Barrier Reef and attend the symphony at the Sydney Opera House. I want to bring in the New Year with my Australian friends on a roof top overlooking Sydney Harbor Bridge....and I will. I will live in Australia for a considerable duration of time, at some point in my life. So until that time, I'll dream and I'll plan and I'll save.
Wanderlust begins, returns and ends in Australia for me. While I hope to see all the world and experience numerous cultures, I know I will always want to return to the Land Down Under. I want to explore the Great Barrier Reef and attend the symphony at the Sydney Opera House. I want to bring in the New Year with my Australian friends on a roof top overlooking Sydney Harbor Bridge....and I will. I will live in Australia for a considerable duration of time, at some point in my life. So until that time, I'll dream and I'll plan and I'll save.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Silly anxieties...
I freely admit when it comes to my Christmas ornaments, I border on being O.C.D. I began collecting Hallmark ornaments with my mom and sister several years ago. What started out as a "filler" gift (you know, those gifts you buy to round out a person's gifts, or to make sure you spent the same amount on each person) in the past has now become the focus of much of our Christmas holiday. Needless to say, I've got multiple tubs of Hallmark ornaments. Tubs of wrapped and boxed Hallmark ornaments. Yes, I am very particular with my ornaments. And, there is a process for getting the ornaments out, hanging them up, and putting them away. I know it's excessive...I make fun of myself for it...but, I LOVE my ornaments!
So, last night when it was decided that we would put up my Christmas tree, I was excited and a little leery. Scott helped me decorate my tree last year, so he had a pretty good idea of my system. This year, my help were O. and M., and their excitement for all these tiny unopened boxes, while absolutely adorable, was completely nerve racking for me. Though Scott says I looked calm sitting there with the boys digging through my beloved ornaments, my anxiety had to be transparent. My offers to open the ornaments and have them hang them were pretty much ignored...I can't blame them, as Scott later told my sister, "it was like hundreds of little Christmas gifts sitting right there in front of them"...and I held my breath as I watched them delve into the tubs. Fortunately, with a lot of prompting and careful observation, both boys followed my rules of carefully opening the box, carefully pulling out the ornament and unwrapping it, then carefully putting the bubble wrap or tissue paper back in the box. They were a little disappointed when I told them they couldn't pop the bubble wrap, but they quickly got over it once they started to look at and play with the animated ornaments.
In the end, no boxes were torn, most packaging was returned to its correct box, and only one ornament had to seek a touch of superglue. It was fun to see M. and O.'s excitement as I pointed out different ornaments and showed them where buttons and levers were to be found on them, but I was more able to breathe once we'd gotten through the opening of all the boxes. I'm not proud of my anxiety in regards to the ornaments...I know it's silly, but I really do LOVE my ornaments. I love reacquainting myself with the ones I have forgotten over the past eleven months and having the opportunity to put them on the tree for the very first time. Though the "putting up" process is a bit tedious and I am a little particular about their placement on the tree (what...I have to showcase my favorites!) as well, the end result is a thing of beauty!
So, last night when it was decided that we would put up my Christmas tree, I was excited and a little leery. Scott helped me decorate my tree last year, so he had a pretty good idea of my system. This year, my help were O. and M., and their excitement for all these tiny unopened boxes, while absolutely adorable, was completely nerve racking for me. Though Scott says I looked calm sitting there with the boys digging through my beloved ornaments, my anxiety had to be transparent. My offers to open the ornaments and have them hang them were pretty much ignored...I can't blame them, as Scott later told my sister, "it was like hundreds of little Christmas gifts sitting right there in front of them"...and I held my breath as I watched them delve into the tubs. Fortunately, with a lot of prompting and careful observation, both boys followed my rules of carefully opening the box, carefully pulling out the ornament and unwrapping it, then carefully putting the bubble wrap or tissue paper back in the box. They were a little disappointed when I told them they couldn't pop the bubble wrap, but they quickly got over it once they started to look at and play with the animated ornaments.
In the end, no boxes were torn, most packaging was returned to its correct box, and only one ornament had to seek a touch of superglue. It was fun to see M. and O.'s excitement as I pointed out different ornaments and showed them where buttons and levers were to be found on them, but I was more able to breathe once we'd gotten through the opening of all the boxes. I'm not proud of my anxiety in regards to the ornaments...I know it's silly, but I really do LOVE my ornaments. I love reacquainting myself with the ones I have forgotten over the past eleven months and having the opportunity to put them on the tree for the very first time. Though the "putting up" process is a bit tedious and I am a little particular about their placement on the tree (what...I have to showcase my favorites!) as well, the end result is a thing of beauty!
Bamboozle--What a Fun Word to Say!
As an educator, it's easy to feel like my students are trying to bamboozle me on a daily basis. I don't generally look at their attempts as mean spirited, more just a means of having to do less work. They're teenagers and it's expected; it would be abnormal for them not to test the boundaries. And, I appreciate their efforts when they are successful.
On the other hand, I've had plenty of people try to bamboozle me in my personal life. I've been in relationships where as we got more serious, the more things began to change. The admiration for my coaching three sports and teaching soon became a one-sided topic as we began to talk of the future that lay ahead of us; one-sided on his part..."you won't be able to coach when we have children, you'll need to be at home." I remember feeling tricked, bamboozled, when the words trailed off his lips. I stared in disbelief and I walked out. This wasn't the first nor the last relationship (friendship or otherwise) I ended for feeling like I'd been deceived.
It's these past relationships, these unexpected shifts that make me so thankful for Scott. Since our first meeting (afternoon coffee), I've never had a reason to feel suspicious or anxious about what the future would hold. Scott has never been anything but completely upfront about his past, his failures, his hopes, his dreams, etc. I've never met a more honest or more true person than Scott (one of the many reasons I am marrying this man!); shoot, he was even relieved when his attempts to throw me a surprise birthday party were thwarted. :)
To be able to trust completely...that's big...that's really BIG!
On the other hand, I've had plenty of people try to bamboozle me in my personal life. I've been in relationships where as we got more serious, the more things began to change. The admiration for my coaching three sports and teaching soon became a one-sided topic as we began to talk of the future that lay ahead of us; one-sided on his part..."you won't be able to coach when we have children, you'll need to be at home." I remember feeling tricked, bamboozled, when the words trailed off his lips. I stared in disbelief and I walked out. This wasn't the first nor the last relationship (friendship or otherwise) I ended for feeling like I'd been deceived.
It's these past relationships, these unexpected shifts that make me so thankful for Scott. Since our first meeting (afternoon coffee), I've never had a reason to feel suspicious or anxious about what the future would hold. Scott has never been anything but completely upfront about his past, his failures, his hopes, his dreams, etc. I've never met a more honest or more true person than Scott (one of the many reasons I am marrying this man!); shoot, he was even relieved when his attempts to throw me a surprise birthday party were thwarted. :)
To be able to trust completely...that's big...that's really BIG!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Day 2: Nihilism
Really?! Nihilism...Hmmm...
Well, it took a consult with Mr. Webster to make sure I even knew what the word means...total rejection of established laws and institutions.
I can't say that I've ever sat and thought about anything in terms of complete rejection...hmmm, what do I reject...
It feels a little weird to be saying this, especially as I plan my own wedding, but of all institutions, I am most discouraged with the institution of marriage. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge proponent for commitment and the joining of lives, but it's hard to believe in a system that doesn't allow every one to legally marry. Times change and so should the social institutions in which we most strongly believe, and effect the greatest majority. There shouldn't be laws that determine which genders of people are allowed to love one another and be legally bound. So, I guess it is fair to say I reject the [current] established laws which govern the participation in the institution of marriage.
***I'm crossing my fingers for a much "fluffier" word tomorrow!
Well, it took a consult with Mr. Webster to make sure I even knew what the word means...total rejection of established laws and institutions.
I can't say that I've ever sat and thought about anything in terms of complete rejection...hmmm, what do I reject...
It feels a little weird to be saying this, especially as I plan my own wedding, but of all institutions, I am most discouraged with the institution of marriage. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge proponent for commitment and the joining of lives, but it's hard to believe in a system that doesn't allow every one to legally marry. Times change and so should the social institutions in which we most strongly believe, and effect the greatest majority. There shouldn't be laws that determine which genders of people are allowed to love one another and be legally bound. So, I guess it is fair to say I reject the [current] established laws which govern the participation in the institution of marriage.
***I'm crossing my fingers for a much "fluffier" word tomorrow!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
A December Writing Challenge
Tonight is the night regular writing begins, again. My buddies (Crazybastard66 and NoisyLittleAdventures) and I have devised a challenge...a one-word challenge. Every day in December a random word (supplied by one of us) will be drawn and our task will be to include the word in a piece of writing (it could just be in the title) or simply write from inspiration derived from the chosen word. The web site instructs participants to write for sixty seconds...this all English-teacher crew has decided to toss that guideline...we like words and our own voices (in writing of course) too much to be limited to a mere sixty seconds! So, here goes...
Tonight
Tonight was spent in class, well, two and a half hours of it anyway. I like the class, I like the people in the class, and I thoroughly enjoy the wit and intellect of the instructor; but, I am so ready for this class to be over. I want my Wednesday evenings with "my fellas" back, and I want to be able to absent-mindlessly watch a movie without thinking about star power, commercial aesthetics, production codes, lighting, framing, and staging techniques, or focus on camera angles. I merely want to enjoy the spectacle of Harry Potter escaping the Dementor's kiss or jump out of my seat when I'm startled by the snake striking at the screen, instead of thinking the director broke the rules by making the audience a part of the film instead of allowing us to just be spectators...I want to stop using the word spectacle when talking about what is projected on a movie screen! After a finishing a fifteen page paper I have yet to start and a final class meeting, I will try to return to the role of audience member...and, I plan on celebrating that moment with Scott, a bowl of popcorn...and, perhaps, Johnny Depp.
**Follow our challenge, hold us accountable to writing every day...join our challenge! Leave a comment if you'd like to participate and we'll get you linked!
Tonight
Tonight was spent in class, well, two and a half hours of it anyway. I like the class, I like the people in the class, and I thoroughly enjoy the wit and intellect of the instructor; but, I am so ready for this class to be over. I want my Wednesday evenings with "my fellas" back, and I want to be able to absent-mindlessly watch a movie without thinking about star power, commercial aesthetics, production codes, lighting, framing, and staging techniques, or focus on camera angles. I merely want to enjoy the spectacle of Harry Potter escaping the Dementor's kiss or jump out of my seat when I'm startled by the snake striking at the screen, instead of thinking the director broke the rules by making the audience a part of the film instead of allowing us to just be spectators...I want to stop using the word spectacle when talking about what is projected on a movie screen! After a finishing a fifteen page paper I have yet to start and a final class meeting, I will try to return to the role of audience member...and, I plan on celebrating that moment with Scott, a bowl of popcorn...and, perhaps, Johnny Depp.
**Follow our challenge, hold us accountable to writing every day...join our challenge! Leave a comment if you'd like to participate and we'll get you linked!
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